sigh...I really like you

I can't believe it.

I haven't posted in weeks (sort of) and yet you've remained connected and our readership has actually grown. Is this an indication that I should remain silent more often?  kidding.

You've renewed my interest in blogging.

Suffice it to say that we've had a great deal of life matters in our little home. Many a late night discussion about who we want to be, how we want to be it, and when. And with whom.

I accidentally wrote whome the first time. Why isn't it spelled that way?

So I'll let you in on one of the matters...Ace's sleep. I have 5 days of 9 total to improve his sleep or we're going the cry-it-out way. And I tried that CIO. Twice. And my heart and integrity shattered. The last time, Monday, Ace took another 15 minutes to stop crying after I finally picked him up. I know it's right for some people, and it may be right for us in the end, but gosh, all I can think about is my little boy shaking in my arms and that Mad About You episode where Helen Hunt says,

"I think we just broke her heart."

Granted, their child's name was Mabel. So her heart was broken anyway. 

But it fits my sentiment precisely. 

I don't want to make my son cry if there's another way. A way that might correspond to the method of learning we hope to give him as he grows and matures. Learning with love, consequences, patience, activity, and more love.

It isn't as if we haven't gone the hard route before. We didn't live together before marriage (woah, Nellie!!!!!) and all that implies (wooga wooga); we practice NFP (go ask your mother); we buy everything with cash; we lived with one car for 2 years; we don't own a TV (though we do have Netflix); we don't spend money on landscaping or painting--we do it ourselves.

So I'm enjoying my New Belgian Abbey and praying that Ace stays asleep for 4 hours straight each time tonight. I'm doing the Ferber feeding method where you increase the period between feedings by 30 minutes each night. We're up to 4 hours from 2.5. It's been going really well, but I'm nervous.

I accidentally added an "e" to nervous there. Why is "e" so easy to add?

I want my son to know comfort. "They" say that not letting a child cry coddles them. Well, my son doesn't cry unless he's truly scared/in pain/exhausted, and he plays alone for 20+ minutes at a time each day without a care in the world. I am desperate for better sleep, but I'm more desperate for a better WAY of teaching that.

I'll let you know how it goes.

In the meantime, thank you for hanging in there during my absence. I'm not yet ready to post regularly, but when I am, I'll be all in.

Much love and appreciation...

Ace & Mama petting Mona, Memorial Day 2011



  1. You go mama! You are doing all the right things! One day down the road {when you're finally getting sleep} you'll look back on this challenging time and, well not laugh, but smile, knowing you did all you could for this little man! He WILL sleep through the night... this too shall pass!

    {c u at happy hour?} :P

  2. Oh baby! We hear you. Literally, metaphorically, spiritually, etc. We pray about sleep too. Sometimes it works, sometimes God apparently has something else in mind. But, in the end we (and you) will never regret one moment when you know you have spent loving your boy and that is awesome. CIO is not for us either. And even though more sleep would be awesome and even though some days feel like they are never going to end and even though these babies always seem to be fast asleep and snoring at the "wrong" times, now I understand why God made them so stinking cute. If they were not so melt-my-heart-adorable, we would all be in for it. I'm sick of praying for my own sleep... I'll pray for yours instead. Love from over here! xxoo

  3. ok.
    my male thoughts.
    Our little one is 15 months and we also struggled with this because our daughter also only cried for the reasons you've outlined.

    As a mother, I'm sure you've read twice as much as me and know twice as much as me, but in case you missed it, I thought it was critical to point out that we have a checklist.

    If my daughter is screaming, we check her diaper, nuk is in place, teddy is close at hand etc.

    Barring those things, we usually give her some warmed-up, hormone free whole milk.

    It seems like babies wake up more when they are hungry. A full belly makes babies happy. I know Hawk men aren't the smallest. Maybe he's hungry? I'm guessing you thought of this, but thought I'd mention.

    Captcha word: screw (should I be offended?)

  4. Nellie, I WILL see you at neighbor happy hour:)

  5. beekay: thanks for the encouragement. let's swap prayer and see how things go:)

  6. Matt,

    LOVE the male point of view. How many times does she still wake in the night, though? Last night, he woke 3 times between 2am and 5am...And then another before 7.

    Captcha word? I'm so confused.

    OHHHHH, was that the word you had to spell to send in a comment? Hilarious!



thishawksnest reserves the right to remove any comment not contributing to content and conversation.


Related Posts with Thumbnails
Real Time Analytics