The big buck here at the end. I asked each woman to give me two final thoughts: what makes this doubling up on kids so joyful, and what would be ... your famous last words on the topic?
I confess, I was most interested in that last part. When I hear that question I pause, take a breath, and give them great weight. I expect that whatever I'm going to hear or say is really the heart of the matter. You find out a lot about a person in answer to this question. I've heard people feeling down-and-out break out with great optimism in answer to those few words!
Also, I'm sure y'all know this isn't a religious blog, but religion is big in my life. Where the women discuss it, I've kept it for print. Honestly, okay, I'm being really honest here... I thought about deleting them. What would you think of this little blog if I included them? Sure, they were important for me, but would you roll your eyes and think, Great, another one of those... After a lot of finger-sliding over the keyboard, squinting eyes--a symptom of deep thought--I've chosen to go for it. At the very least it will give you insight into their perspectives.
So enjoy this Friday installment of Doubling Up. Famous Last Words...
What were some of the greatest joyful
surprises with the addition of a second child?
The best thing in the world is seeing the two
children develop a relationship which I do think happens right from the
beginning. And it gets better as they get older. We still love to
listen to the conversations the brothers have. Some of the funniest moments
in my life have been watching the boys play together (especially in the tub -
you will see...).
Greatest joyful surprises...so many actually,
but a few are seeing how Abigail took to Amelia and now, their budding friendship.
Also, for me that feeling of your heart just bursting with just as much love
for another child, an even deeper love for Ryan as he was even more helpful,
patient and wonderful because he would witness on nights/weekends when he
was home that it was alot to handle at times.
Children are amazing! How can two children with the
same parents be so different? And how remarkable that they love each other so
much! I am repeatedly astonished at how much love we are capable of: my heart
was full on my wedding day; my heart spilled over on the day my first baby was
born; and it exploded when I met baby number two. This imagery implies that I
should have no more pieces of my heart left, but, somehow, my heart continues
to burst as I immerse myself in family life.
The way the girls play and laugh. Our home is
filled with joyful laughter and happy screaming about 90% of the time, and it
makes me smile. Now that they are 5 and 3, they play together so well and
are each other's best friends (and at times worst enemies). Even when
Clare was born, Hannah was always so helpful, interested and motherly.
Clare was the same with Emily (though a little more aggressive) They also
understand that they are not #1, and I find don't demand as much--they are
learing patience. They also teach each other--help each other read and
zipper coats. They give hugs and get in trouble together. I really
love our girls.
How
quickly the labor/delivery went! Enjoying
the baby things all over again and knowing how quickly they pass by. Seeing
Tom say "Hi Baby David" every morning and enjoying making his brother
smile. Seeing
how MUCH they look alike and how much the little noises and laughs David makes are
similar to Tom's, and yet how much he is his own person. Seeing
Arch be Daddy to two little guys and enjoying/remembering the baby phases.
What would be your "last words of advice" to moms preparing for their second child?



Here's a tip I
personally needed so I could become less selfish as more and more people began
to depend on me: start your day with a morning offering. The Apostleship of
Prayer is an organization dedicated to helping people pray. On their website you will find
various prayers you can consider using to dedicate your day to the heart of
Christ--every action, every word, every poopy diaper, every dish, every round
of Candy Land (it's even OK to pray through a game of Candy Land which you have
rigged! I am so good at surreptitiously stacking the deck with Queen Frostine,
I should tackle Vegas. Would someone please just WIN this inane game, already!)
Finally, stay
close to God and the church. If you are Catholic, receive the Sacraments often:
•
Your
husband is your best friend and helpmate, and you need the grace of your marriage
vows to keep working together as a pair.
•
Something
real happens at Reconciliation--the weaknesses that brought you to confession
can diminish as Jesus heals and strengthens you.
•
The
Eucharist is the source and summit of our Christian lives. Making it through
Mass with squirmy little children can be absolute drudgery, but the rhythm of
churchgoing forms a family. The Eucharist is not a hoax; it is real food you
can depend on.


***
I truly hope you've enjoyed this little venture of ours. Please do let us know what you think. Is everyone out there nuts to go for two? If you have, how has it changed you? Should we do another round of Doubling Up sometime, and if so, what are some questions we should hit?
On a personal note, I'm in agreement with much of what has been said about how the family grows and joy grows and love grows, but I've also been amazed at how much having our daughter, our second, has quieted me. Made me pause. Made me more gracious, more interested in improving myself for the sake of another. There's something, dare I say something so cliche, magical that happens with #2. With our first, our attention really centered on him. It was focused at the same point. But with two, the "division" of attention has slowed our pace, and it seems that all four of us now are simply more aware of and attentive to each individual and the whole. Does that make sense? Like some veil was lifted and things have become more clear. And interesting. And present. So very much this day, this hour.
Okay, maybe I need to hit publish and shush.
with love and affection for you, readers,
~jen
No comments:
Post a Comment
thishawksnest reserves the right to remove any comment not contributing to content and conversation.