who gets to make the decorating decisions?

Source: nanlawson.bigcartel.com via Jenny on Pinterest

When planning their weddings, women stereotypically lament their husband's lack of interest but by the time they're decorating the house, it seems to be a great advantage. Or there's the battle over which shows like Designer's Challenge arise.

Hawk and I started out with an all-together mindset: any decorating, paint, furniture decision would be made together. We did this pretty well for the first three years of our marriage, but we've since realized that we aren't actually doing much decorating. We painted. We've added some things to the dining room. And aside from a crib, that was pretty much it.

We've realized we've been at a standstill since that first bout of painting. So after many conversations including budget, style preferences, and organization, Hawk agreed to let me take the reigns and make changes and decisions as long as I didn't make any major or permanent without a little design consult together.

We've had a few revelations:

1. I think that the person taking care of the space should have greatest say in how that space looks. Unless that individual doesn't care or their style is stuck in the 70's, of course. But to keep an area tidy and fresh, one has to have pride in that space. How can I have pride in this house I keep if it doesn't reflect me and my family? I think this reason more than any other is why a woman tends to be most concerned with design; we may not be in the 1950's, but the fact remains that women tend to keep house more than men in the same house.
2. The order of change is important. I like to make changes where we can afford to and where I see a need, but Hawk really wants one space finished before moving into any other area. This is big for our ability to make decisions together. It had been a stumbling block for us until we realized we had these different approaches. I've adjusted to his because it gives him more peace when I start making changes. Right now, we're focused on the living and dining rooms.
3. Walls are a priority. Artwork gives a home a personal feel more than any other item, be it family photos or a painting. It also draws the eye up and away from any mess on the floor or furniture! It's easy to change and easy to DIY, so something is better than nothing.
4. In the end, one person has to trust the other. Hawk isn't as abstractly spatial; he likes to see it as true-to-life as possible before he'll embrace it, but that's not always possible. So he has to trust that I have a vision and it's good. Case in point, the back hallway. I painted thin horizontal stripes, and we love it more each day!

What about you? Do you agree? Or should it be totally 50/50? I'd love to hear what you think!

icj,
~j

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