wedding shower favors

I am teased rather often for owning a blog about homemaking, house-making, etc. There are many reasons I do so, most of them rational. I like to be crafty, though unfortunately not in the clever sense--rather, just the I-definitely-think-I-can-pull-that-off-sense.


Here's a brief step-by-step instruction toward making your very own, maybe-they'll-last-a-year wine-glass this-one-is-mine thingie:


Step one:
Purchase 1 $0.29 12x12" felt square for every color you want to use. Total cost here, under $10 for 18. (I could do the math, but I refuse. I'm on vacation, and I study theology. No point in thinking when I don't have to).

Step two:

Open bottle of good red wine. Fill glasses. Sit and compete with friends over whose family is more like those in that film, Four Christmases. Fill glasses again. Oh yes, and cut fabric into 1"x3.5" rectangles.

Step three:

Fill glasses. Cut white yarn that is clearly the wrong style. Very fuzzy. It is best if the yarn becomes tangled and shreds and becomes the catalyst for expletives. Definitely the best.

Step four:

Open the bone-like ivory beads you purchased at JoAnn Fabrics for $3.99 @ 50% off. Drop into small dish. Watch them scatter across the table making a plink-plink-plink that perfectly compliments the expletives that follow. Gather back up. Stare at them in the dish, daring them to escape. Fill glasses.

Step five:

Cut a whole at the base of one end of each rectangle. Do this first by trying to shave a hole with a dull razorblade. Then, realize that this is inefficient and looks ridiculous, after all--you're not really a surgeon or a crafter. Watch as friend on her third glass of wine folds the end and cuts a perfect inside cut. Glare at beads.

Step six:

Take the best yarn ever and try multiple ways to make it look cool around each rectangle. Fail at this at least twice. Then go for simple route. Forget to take picture of simple route and find yourself stuck with only photo of first-and-not-coolest attempt at yarn decoration.

Step seven:

Thread bone-like jumping beads through yarn, tie behind one side. Push through the easy hole your friend has made after three glasses of wine, and style on formica-top table.

Step eight:

Fill glasses and toast the prophecy that EK's fiance, southern-man-Eric, will see wine-mine-things and call them, "precious."

Merry last-days-of-Advent!

icj,

~j

tweet