making it home series : how to keep house part i

a series about starting from scratch

How was your weekend? Ours was unbelievable. Temps in the upper 70's, clear blue skies, yellow and red leaves falling, plenty of pleasant house and yard work, and a happy little baby who loves the outdoors. I could go on and on, but....

Let's talk housekeeping. Most people think of keeping house, and this sort of image comes to mind:

image found here

image found here

Or this:

found via pinterest from thedeathofcool.tumlbr

The world comes crashing down. Or housekeeping = starting from scratch, demolishing and rebuilding. But it doesn't have to be that way. I am one of the usual of my generation; we have little experience when it comes to keeping house. Society and those silly 6th grade home-ec classes did little to encourage me to want to keep house. 


So now that I have a family, a home, and I'm to give my full attention to it, I want the attention I spend there to be worthwhile. When I mention that I'm studying a book to learn how to keep house, I often receive a little tongue-in-cheek comment, an eye roll, or an eyebrow raises, you don't need to read a book, there are plenty of people you can learn from around you.


So what's the advantage of learning how to keep house through Cheryl Mendelson's Home Comforts? Tons. Tons and tons. and tons. The title should give you a big clue that this isn't your normal how-to-cut-corners-and-make-your-home-barely-be-what-you-really-want-it-to-be.

First, it is all about the mindset given to making a home. You may recall how Hawk asked me to develop a mindset about finances. I would run expenses by him, and he would respond with, i can't always tell you what to do. you have to have the right mindset. Ms. Mendelson offers the same to her audience: 

Shake not your head, this is true and essential. She writes, housekeeping creates cleanliness, order, regularity, beauty, the conditions for health and safety, and a good place to do and feel all the things you wish and need to do and feel in your house. Isn't that true? I believe she's entirely right. I am unable to feel rested in a disordered house. If the kitchen is sloppy, crumbs under my feet or dishes in the sink--I am slightly irritated in the morning. I hate when the garbage smells to the living room. And trust me, ask any of my friends from my pre-Hawk years, and they will tell you that my middle name is not Monica Geller.

photo found here

Early in our home-ownership, Hawk and I lamented the many times we were rushing to thoroughly clean the house--not just neaten it, but scrub the bathroom, sinks, floors, mirrors, etc.--the day before a dinner or party or guests were expected. And as we live in the sort of village where people routinely knock on your front door when they have a question, we couldn't always count on a warning.


Second, she understands the plethora of reasons women (and men) may both desire to make a home and feel unable to do so in a deeply satisfying way. So everything she offers can be adapted to one's lifestyle and event surprising events (like new babies or moves). I think this is primarily because to embrace what she offers is to transform your mindset (there it is again). Since it is a whole picture, big picture, whole house sort of thing, it becomes part of your lifestyle. 


A happy part.


I'm going to go more in depth in the coming weeks. This is just to wet our palette. 


Happy Monday!


icj,

~j

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home retreat

As part of my contract, I am given 5 retreat days per year. With a baby, it just isn't possible for me to get away for overnights anywhere, let alone 4 of them, before I lose them in July.

Thankfully, my boss is allowing an experiment. A home retreat. I have chosen a guide: Introduction to the Devout Life by Francis de Sales, and I should be able to skype with a spiritual direction at least once.

Here's the idea: when Ace is awake, I'm full-time mom. When Ace is asleep, I read and pray exclusively. I keep silence. Since Hawk comes home in the evening, it is difficult to keep silence (not talk to anyone or even pray aloud) with a husband in the house, so I get to be creative in the evenings and spend a little time with him.  I am staying away from iphone, blogs, email, and all things communicable as well as creative from the time Ace and I wake until he is asleep at bedtime. And when I finally do take up the computer once again, it will be only with a creative or mothering focus--no emails, shows, facebook checks, blog checks, etc.

Yikes.

I can't wait to tell you how it goes! I'll also be dedicating all my non-retreat time to Ace's schedule and sleep. And I have posts scheduled auto-style through the week, so you shouldn't be bored (are you ever? I should probably ask this once in a while).

Whoot.

icj,
~j

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autumn audobon

Do you have a place you can get to within minutes and feel like you're away from it all? With everything we've been doing to prepare for Ace's official "arrival," with our work schedules and other events, we desperately needed an afternoon for our couple selves. Something where we weren't working on the house, weren't really spending a ton of money ($6 total), and could actually expend energy rather than take it in.


We have one a few special places within a 45 minute drive, but one very special place just up the road.

The Audobon. Only 2 miles up the road. A pretty road, with wealthy old houses to look at on the way. We wanted to get out before the baby "arrives," before the colors are lost, before the cold snap snaps us. And autumn is really one of the best times of the year, whether you're a summer or winter buff. I prefer the winter, and Hawk prefers the summer, so this is the one time of year we're both really happy.

Shot looking down into one of the small ravines.

A selfie. I seriously look best in selfies. I'm not saying I look great. Just that in every other photo? Not so much. So on a scale, these are my best. Maybe because I'm partially hidden:)

Small creek...

Very fun bridge down into a ravine and back up the other side.

Ohhh, yellow...

We found this over-turned tree. I was joking about how Sleepy Hollow it looks. My first pose was much more appropriate, but Hawk said I looked stupid. He was probably right. But it would have been funny. We want Ace to think we're funny. 

Love this! So many of the trees had a sort of shading effect, moving from bright yellow to deep oranges and reds near the branch tips.

Oh, it's like a couple of leaves. As in a "couple," like a dating relationship. (I'm a dork).

The Audobon main building is swell. We've been to a couple of weddings there, and I like how simple it is.

After a bit more walking, we encountered a very nice, though perhaps overly thorough kind stranger who encouraged us to hit the look-out tower. We found it pretty fast. So here's me endangering our unborn child checking out the view by climbing way too high and standing near a solid railing above the tree line.

Notice how the railing is much more suited for my safety than for those tall people out there:

Pretty shot overlooking Lake Michigan.

And last but not least, turkeys. That's right folks, all around the Audobn, there are wild turkeys. This happened to be in someone's lawn at the edge of the park. They're bigger than they look here!

Hope this finds you well!

icj,

~j

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a year now

This past August 28th, we celebrated a year as homeowners. In honor of this first anniversary, we've compiled lists of the most important things we now know that, without looking for, buying, and caring for a home, we would never have known. Today's list covers the search, the jump, and the first few things we learned about home care.

1. Never by the first house you like. This one was very difficult for us because we fell for a home we still refer to as the Riverview House. Great house, great yard, great price--but because it was in a river plain, we would have had a mandated $2-3k on flood insurance bill each year. That would add up pretty fast in a way we would never recoup. We have a few friends who did take the plunge without looking around and comparing their investment, and now they're stressed out with either payments or home repair or both. And some will admit that there were better homes for the same price point that they should have considered.
2. See every home within your price range even if it doesn't have the outside "look" you're going for. We thought we wanted a bungalow or cape cod. We though Mickelsons were boxy and boring. After talking with friends who owned them and looking through a number of them in our 8+ month search, we were sold on their efficiency, open floor plan, and quality of craftsmanship. We love our Mickey! 
3. Take someone who is more experienced in home ownership, not emotionally attached to physical spaces, and knows how to work on a house with his or her own hands. We cannot say enough about the positive influence Mom Hawk had in our home-buying. She's a jack-of-all-trades and knows the ins-and-outs of house structure the way Tim Allen never could. She would walk us through each house and point out problems we would have to care for immediately or with great expense over time. While we started out misty-eyed at all the things we could do in each house, she planted our feet on the ground without being judgmental or too persuasive.
4. Know what you won't settle for, what you must have. We're not talking jacuzzis here. We think home-buying needs to stay more practical (and you can always put a jacuzzi in if that's your thing). We wanted hard-wood floors, but we would settle for ripping up carpet if there were quality hardwood floors beneath and if the present condition did not warrant health concerns (think old carpet, cat allergies, smoking residue, etc.). We knew we needed 3 bedrooms or more if we could afford it. We started out thinking that 2 would be fine, but now we know we can fit 4 kids into this Mickey before things get so crazy we have to either expand or move on. (Our neighbor grew up with her 5 siblings in the 3 BR Mickey she now owns, and she said they are happy, content, & close because of it). We knew the house couldn't require any major repairs from us for 10 years. While that can't be guaranteed of course, symptoms of chimney decay, basement issues, old windows, etc. are big triggers that more moola would be shelled out pretty fast.
5. Get the home inspection. Worth. Every. Penny.
6. Paint the rooms. Just paint them. At first, we were only going to paint one room, but we saw pretty quickly that although the house was very well-cared for, it would never feel like ours without a face lift, and as we began the lift, we realized how important it is to bring the whole house together. And the cheapest, most effective way to give a whole face lift is to paint. Our total paint cost for the entire house came under $300, and that includes primer and the 3 coats of paint we put on everything. For those of you with us the whole journey, you know we painted every inch of ceiling, trim, doors, walls and cabinets. If it was metal or under our feet, we let it be. Not to mention that working on the house almost every day for the first 3 months and every weekend for the first 5 really gave us a sense of pride, attention, and care for our investment and home. Blood, sweat, and tears all go a long way in ensuring our future care.
7. Take a month to make any decisions that will cost money and/or require time to undo. We did this for our window treatments (10 windows with new wood blinds), kitchen hardware, dining room buffets (more on that coming soon), and paint colors.
8. Take care of the front lawn. Hawk mows regularly. We trim the bushes along the driveway and under the front windows. We haven't added anything new because we don't know what we want yet, but these little trimmings go a long way in conveying care for our home. On the downside, we've just got to tell you about our yard soon. Don't let us forget!
9. Do anything yourself that you can--with appropriate guidance. Whenever possible, we repaired or replaced or maintain things ourselves. Saves money, teaches us about home care, and reinforces pride in and accountability to our home and each other. Not to mention it helps us figure out just how quickly we resort to cussing when things go downhill. 

We could keep going, but we think these are the most important thus far. 

Tune in tomorrow for Etsy Friday! We'll be back with more lists next week.

icj,

~j & Hawk

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simplicity and slowing down

Cars. 

qbaku

We all want one. A lot of people have one. Or six. When I was a kid, my parents bought me a batter-powered cream & brown classic car. I can't remember the make, so the closest I could find is below. I couldn't get enough of it.

The Hawks Nest gets around in a single VW.

No, not that one---thought wouldn't that be brilliant?! We have a really great car that I bought 2 years ago from Mom Hawk. Days before our wedding, Hawk sold his Accord so that we could save money and live more simply with one car. People often respond in surprise when they hear that we share a car.

So in a spirit of encouragement, I offer you my Top 9 Reasons (because 10 is so cliche) I am grateful for our one-car lifestyle:

9. Any shared space means shared responsibility---and that's a good thing. Since we both can bring our messiness to the car, then we can't blame one over the other and we both have to chip in and clean it.

8. Less money goes toward insurance!

7. Less money goes toward gas!

6. Less pollution enters the atmosphere. Less waste in general, less use of resources.

5. When I need the car all day one day a week, I drive him to work. Having that morning time together, just listening to the radio, is fantastic.

4. I walk the mile to work those other 4 days. Brilliant idea. Being an extremely non-commital exerciser makes this a dream decision. I usually read while I walk, so I get in the personal time, the exercise, and the quiet at the start of the day.

3. It increases our communication. It requires that we both know each other's next-day schedule. With two cars, it would be very easy to be independent and to plan our own days without thought of the other. Having one car quickly forced us into thinking about the other person's life and needs and planning around them.

2. It increases our selflessness. Scheduling around each other's needs, driving each other around, going in early here or staying a bit late there, getting groceries...it's making us better people.

1.  Simplicity is good for our marriage. Limiting mobility helps us slow down, choose each other over other opportunities, walk to the movie theater (a little over a mile), walk to the friend's house. You'd think it would be the opposite--rushing from here to there and sometimes, it is. But the majority of the time, there's a pleasant pause in preparation. We wait for and on each other. 

We won't always stay a one-car family, but for now it is a great blessing!  Happy Monday!

icj,

~j

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