Yesterday was one of those days I couldn't wait to see end. Hawk was sick, it was hot and muggy, I feel crummy, the house isn't tidy, the laundry is folded in piles far far away from their homes, and I couldn't grocery shop until after 9pm. I know, not terrible, but not great.
So when my 19 month old little guy wouldn't settle for a nap because he was still hungry, having not eaten as much lunch as usual, I snapped at him. I really wanted a nap. Our 4 month old was out, Hawk was out, I wanted to be out. I didn't quite yell, but pretty close. Just for a second. And I wasn't exactly my usual, gentle self when putting him in his seat.
And you know what? My son totally showed me up on the self-control dial. He looked at me, raised his hand, then I could see him work it out just before he said, "No. No hit," and did his usual action expressing that he understands he shouldn't hit.
He wanted to hit me. He got that I was ticked at him and he wanted to respond in kind. But he didn't. He held back and instead taught me a lesson.
I'm torn between bursting pride and total shame. I'm leaning toward the pride, though. Let's face it, we parents can fail in these moments, but what a grace to see that these little men and women are getting the good stuff!
Definitely swelling with pride as I write. That's the sort of man I hope to raise. The sort of woman I'd like to be.
What about you? How's your self-control lately? I'm fine if you can show me up. I'm inspired by the good of others!
icj,
~j
beautiful reaction from your sweet boy. he "gets it" and you do too. be patient with yourself, mama, you are doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteAnna, thanks for the encouragement. You know I look up to you so much.
Deleteawesome story. those moments are so humbling and wonderful at the same time. I love when T yells to me "I NEED MY SPACE I NEED MY SPACE" when M is getting into his stuff and crawling all over his big brother and yet T is resisting shoving or hitting him. You are a great mom.
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