giveaway just in time for Christmas

It is a small world, dude. So you know my obsession with Karen Le Billon's piece. Well, one of our readers (and college friend) happens to be a children's editor with Harper Collins, and she just helped publish the most beautiful Christmas story written by Nora Buck and illustrated by Sara Jane Wright.

Who illustrated French Kids Eat Everything.

Source: amazon.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

And lo and behold, Molly O'Neill, the editor, kindly surprised me with a copy of A Christmas Goodnight to give away to our lovely readers!

Comment on this post to win your own copy and answer one of these questions: What is your favorite children's book? What do you look for when choosing a children's book? For me, the illustrations are key as they add as much to the imagination as the text itself!

Extra entries: 
1. Tweet the giveaway and comment with the url.
2. Pin the photo above and comment with the url.
3. Facebook it, and comment.

Giveaway closes Friday, December 21st, 11:59pm.


Good luck!

icj,
~j

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French Kids Eat Everything : the book for adults

It may have kids in the title, but the book is meant for adults.

Karen Le Billon takes her readers through her very funny, empathy-enducing, year-long experience of food re-education. She discovers the glories of eating through the demands placed on her children, but the revelations and life changes occur in her.

Let me give a little background. Ms. Le Billon (a former Rhodes scholar) and her French husband, both college professors, reside in Canada with their two daughters. Due to their schedules, they are able to travel back to her husband's home village to intimate themselves with family, history and culture. Soon after arrival she discovers that her previous encounters with the French and their food were all precursors to a much greater cultural shock; as she is now a resident, she needs to pick it up and eat as the French do and she has no idea why or how to do so.

And she resists. Vehemently, and sometimes with tears and an outburst. Forget the kids, this is an adult battle. What follows is her deeply reflective memoir of sorts about a love-hate relationship with food and the transformative sway the French way has in her own family, not the least of which is her observation of thin women eating full meals of rich food.

Source: noselodigasanadie.net via Katherine on Pinterest

My favorite episode is the fourth chapter, L'art de la table: A Meal with Friends, and a Friendly Argument. After weeks of being ostracized, criticized, and demoralized, she finally sees a light. During the friendly argument someone says, 'It's not the act of eating, but rather the approach to eating that is the most distinctive element of French culture.' (65)

The French see the experience of pleasure as the primary reason to make, cultivate, and enjoy food. '

For the French,' someone remarks, 'the enjoyment of eating arises because they slow down, savor their food, and find deep meaning in sharing it with other people.' (162) 

I don't know about you, but the only time I took real time enjoying a great meal was when we celebrated my husband's 30th birthday at a nice restaurant. It was better food than the every day and it was a special occasion, both reasons to savor the food. But to savor it on a daily basis? It never crossed my mind as possible or necessary.

Ms. Le Billon understands. Before I could stop myself, she writes, I retorted, "But few people are really that interested in eating such fancy food. And it's a terrible idea to make everyone eat the same way. People should be allowed to choose what they eat!" 

Conversely, the North American (and UK?) approach 

seeks pleasureful taste second (or third) to nutrition, budget, ease, time, etc. "But choose what?" said Antoine with a smile. "Sure, Americans are free to choose, but they end up making terrible choices. They have no standards for what, when, or how they eat. And they often eat alone. We all know the result!" (68)

Ms. Le Billon touches on the result in a recent blog post, highlighting how the French obesity rate is roughly 1/3 that of the United States'. One-third! And when I read Antoine's comment I sourly admitted that I had little standard for what, when or how I ate. In fact, Hawk and I regularly ate all day long. I recall one of my favorite college professors (whom I wrote about here) explaining his no food, no drink class policy as I sipped my diet Coke unthinkingly, directly in front of him. Constant eating and drinking was so much a part of my activity, and the activities of those around me, that I did so without thinking! And I am by no means overweight. I've wanted to shed a few pounds in this year or that, but technically my BMI and all those medical numbers kept me in the normal range.

We eat something with added nutrients, and it may or may not taste good. We eat standing up. We eat on the run. We eat quickly. We eat cheaply. I'm not talking McDonald's here, I'm talking grocery store! Before reading this book I shopped with budget, ease, and nutrition

Think anecdotally. I'd bet the last time you and a friend talked about your upcoming menu, one of you raved about how easy or healthy it was and then you added, oh and it tastes good, too. We may have Italian, Kenyan, Thai backgrounds and we may make recipes accordingly, but as a culture on the whole, food is a commodity, it is consumed far more than it is enjoyed.

So how has this principle changed me? I'm going into greater detail this week, but let me list is out for you:

1. I look forward to eating every meal.
2. I look forward to cooking meals, and I am finally learning how to cook!
3. I eat foods that taste marvelous.
4. I enjoy food guilt-free, and that food is good.
5. I spend twice as much time at the dinner table.
6. I spend twice as much time with my kids.
7. I'm losing weight effortlessly, and appropriately. And I never work out.
8. My food likes have quadrupled. I'm trying more foods than ever before, and I buy/cook seasonal produce. Variety is so good!
9. I eat bread. Sugared items. High-fat and high-caloric foods. Nothing real is off-limits.

I can't wait to share more. If you've discovered the book as well, do let us know! 

See you tomorrow with more about food, pleasure, and the joy of eating.

icj,

~j

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have a lovely weekend

Source: gardenandgun.com via Chris on Pinterest

Dear Friends,

This week was a wild one for us, but so very very good. So many moments when life made me pause in awe and gratitude. I can't think of anything I want more than Hawk, Ace, and Poppy and these days with each of them.

Here are my favorite links from the week. Enjoy! They're SO good and full of eye candy and doable ideas.

How to layer like the French. I tried this at Saturday's Mass and when we sat in the pew Hawk turned and said, you still have that thing around your neck. did you know that? which basically made me think I'll never be able to pull off French layering. Maybe you can.

Thinking holiday table settings? Think these.

Oh, and psych! there's no such thing as pink.

Need a host or hostess gift for your Halloween party? Try this.

A very nice moving announcement!

The newest home and design blog added to my Reader list.

10 Great Halloween books for kids from one of my favorite design moms.

And spooky diy ballroom dancer silhouettes that glow in the dark in your yard.

Oh please may I have these hand towels?

Just pinned this slow-cooker marinara sauce that makes enough for a good month and is supposed to be delish.

I think this West Elmo side table, currently on sale(!), could be our new one, but Hawk won't stop watching the League long enough to confirm/prohibit. Ugh. Boys. I'd rather get this one but we can't with kids...right?

Just checked this book out from the library, just for fun. First time in a very long time I did so without reading reviews.

A stupid-cool kids craft corner that isn't too extravegant but is totally fun, and all Ikea.

I ordered four pairs of these baby girl knit leggings and I can't stop dressing Poppy in them with cute skirts, onesies, and cardigans!

Love this tree topper. And yes, I have been looking at Christmas decorations since March. It happens every year.


I hope your weekend is delightful in every way. See you Monday when we have ourselves a Foodie week!


icj,
~j

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we're a test kitchen!

Last week was a rough one in our nest, and we're back with exciting news. I mentioned in this post that I was taking more chances; I recently went outside my comfort zone to personally thank an author who has altered my thinking.

After reading French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon, I wanted to tell the woman herself how her triumphs and trevails impacted our family. She was gracious enough to respond with enthusiasm and after more conversation, she extended an invitation to be a test kitchen for her next book.

AAAHHHHH!!!!

We've already begun. Of course, I can't share the menu or recipes on the blog, but I can tell you that we're receiving guidance on how to introduce these foods to our kids given the needs of their ages (infant and toddler). If I'm allowed to discuss anything, you'll be the first to know.

In the meantime, check out her recent post about Why French Kids Don't Get Fat, and note that the French obesity rate is almost 1/3 of the U.S. rate!

We're elated to be a part of the prep and to learn even more about better cuisine. It's high time I talked about the book itself...

icj,
~j

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but I hate the French : a review of Bringing Up Bebe

It all started because of peer pressure. I read about Bringing Up Bebe on the beloved Cup of Jo and then I saw references to the book everywhere. At the store. In my Reader. On the radio. At the library. And I thought, well, the French are rather snobby and obsessed with illicit affairs,  I don’t exactly want to raise my children to be French, but I figured it would be all the rage among moms my age and I wanted to have sound reasons for why I chose not to follow its advice. I requested it from the library, found myself in 47^th place, and waited. When it arrived, I jumped right in so as not to fall behind the bandwagon (but to stay off the bandwagon, thank you very much).

And then I couldn’t put it down. I carried it to the pediatrician’s, to the in-laws, to the library, and maybe to the bathtub with a glass of red. While others were reading 50 [Overrated & Oppressive] Shades of Gray, (just saying), I read all about Pamela Druckerman’s odyssey through French parenting culture and her reflections on whether or not to conform to it.

The first thing to note is that it is well-written. Really, Jen, that’s the first thing? Look, I have two under two and I used to work full-time. Leisure hours aren’t really my thing this decade, so if I’m going to read something it better not dull my intellect and imagination.

Ms. Druckerman’s debut makes for a smooth and engaging read.

The second thing is to appreciate her judgment. I read and heard a number of reviews, some of whose authors actually read the book (surprise), and most of them criticized an American-looking-to-another-culture-to-model. I contend they skimmed chapters and never read the text. When you read each sentence you’ll be quick to find how measured she is in her examination of French parenting. She admires some things like their loving authority, time for adult relationships of all kinds, general respect for the dignity of the person who is presently a child, and expectation that every child will love good food and be self-controlled—even as toddlers! At the same time she questions the French disregard for breastfeeding and dettachment-style of parenting. And for the most part, I agreed with her reflections.

That is the third matter: the book encourages, quietly, a parent’s personal reflection on the motivations and freedoms we impress upon our children. Since reading this book I now expect my then 15-month-old (and now 21-month-old) to behave himself in both private and public circumstances, to keep food on his plate, to speak words clearly and convey ideas with greater precision. I believe my children are far more capable of greater maturity and dignity than I previously practiced. Not because they should behave ahead of their age, but because their age is capable of more than what we Americans tend to believe.

Now, I recently read this article by Mr. Druckerman about his wife's book. He explains that A basic idea in Bringing Up Bébé is that French parents don’t live in the service of their kids. While he highlights the above, I'd highlight his own sentence regarding a happy marriage. We are raising little people, not perpetual kids. One of the best things they can witness is how Hawk and I interact together, how we have our own conversation, how they must wait at times for our own activities to end. Not because we don't love them, but because we do. We are showing them how to honor others. And the kids love it.

Hence, Hawk runs almost every day but he is willing to work that run around the family's (not just the kids') needs. Sometimes it's 4 miles, sometimes it's 8, and as a family, we adjust to that run. I have time to blog and on Tuesday nights I attend a study 30 minutes away. That leaves him alone with the kids, and Poppy-don't-take-no-bottle. Like the book attests, we shouldn't limit ourselves to "date nights," as if that one night is the night we get to be adults. When it's bedtime, the kids need to be in bed. For their physical and mental health as well as our personal leisure time. 

And don't get me started on my clothes. Before I read Bringing Up Bebe I practiced the Midwest-mom art of leisure clothes, i.e., gym clothes or scruffy stuff, not just on occasion but every day. Now, I wear skirts 50% of days and these cute, totally-trendy pop-color pants the other 50%. I shower and shave regularly and I no longer use my kids as an excuse for being un-sexy. (My 5'0" stature might, but not my legs). Besides, I want my kids to think this of me one day.

Why? Because as much as we love our babies and man, do I want to go up right now and wake them and cuddle them and wrestle I know that they are going to leave the coop just as we did, most likely find a mate or enter religious life and we will become the parents who raised them, not perpetual roommates.

I think Americans are too black-and-white about things that shouldn't be so stark. We think it's all or nothing, instead of some of this, and much of that. Being a good marriage doesn't mean being a bad parent. Teaching kids patience doesn't mean ignoring them. Missing one activity doesn't necessarily imply selfishness.

So in summary, here's what I personally gained from the book:

• I am a good mom. Contrary to the American mantra I'm such a bad mom. You know you've said it, or heard it from another mom. Why?
• My children are capable of mature behavior. Loving, gentle and firm discipline guides then in that direction when their appropriate development challenges them.
• I can be sexy, fit, and smell rather pleasant as a mom. 'Nough said. This is my perfume.
• Patience and a sense of others is one of the best things to teach a child, as is the word No. I love Ms. Druckerman's example of the mother who gently but firmly tells her daughter that she is in the middle of a conversation and then expects her child to wait. And the child waits. How beautiful! Manners, attention toward others, respect for self and one's self-control...how great! And my favorite is the snack time, goutier. Ace never questions when I say no to extra treats or non-once-a-day snacks (goutier) that we now practice. He may ask a thousand times, but he always accepts the answer. No.
• On that note, how I respond now determines much of who they become. So instead of saying, Yes, that IS a cloud when Ace points to a tree, I say, Nope, that's a tree, dude. 
• Language and the ability to converse are of vital importance. Forget the schools*. It is our job to teach our children to speak clearly, mean what they say, read, and hold a conversation. The gift of language is one of the greatest gifts!
• One must be able to abide well within society. Conversation, manners, patience; these are good things. Being a member of society doesn't mean you're less a family member or that you ascribe to everything of society at-large. It just means that you can hold your own and still engage others in meaningful relationships. 

I could probably keep going but this review is getting a bit long.

I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts. Tell us, tell us! Have you read it? Are you wary of it? Have you already made the yogurt cake and thought it wasn't that great? Me, too. Did we make it incorrectly?

icj,

~j

*In this statement I am not including learning disabilities which require trained educators, time, and attention. I just mean end the baby-talk and give our kids the gift of conversation and recollection.

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